Stop people pleasing, and just create.
Picture: Grand Rapids, Ohio
I don't know why I am having an itch to write - well it's probably because I love writing, but there is some other reason. Maybe it's because turning 23 really made me want to reflect back on my life to remember all the good times and learn from the bad. Overcome evil with good. I have indeed done a good job of collecting the knowledge of “how to live a good life,” whatever that means. The thing I have left out is that I have lived a great life and will continue to do so. The Divine has been with me the entire time, even when I didn't feel the presence. All the material things have done a good job at helping me have more fun in life, that is for sure. The hard times have helped me love deeper. I want to do what I want to do without trying to please my parents or anybody else. Why do I do things because other people like them? Well I guess I don't do that as much as I think I do. I have made some really tough and life-altering decisions throughout the years - like travel the world or stay here, walking away from that church that tried to control my life. These decisions have made me stronger indeed, but I am tired. That is just the tip of the iceberg. Going deep in my soul there is my true self. The one that no one talks about because I hide myself in the mask my parents bought me as a little girl. It's not their fault, they have their deep battle wounds from life that they don't take the time to work out either. But I love those two more than I could ever explain. I forgive them because they gave me such a great life. They climbed up the ladder of success, but left their true selves at the bottom. I don't believe either of them have ever actually sat down and ask themselves what they really want to do in life. But I guess they are living pretty damn good. I just want them to experience true inner joy that doesn't come from material things more often. But I need to stop the train and start doing what I want in life. We think the only thing that is more valuable and can take most of our time is a way to make money. Money really is humans true love these days. It is the one thing they will do anything for. Even going to an office they hate and doing something that sucks the life out of them every day. It's cool though, I do it too, it is what we are brainwashed to be and do. I can feel my parents anger as I write all this out; for thinking this way they may get angry because it doesn't match with the things they have been chasing all this life. But hey, money is important, it just isn't what buys. What buys is something that is greater than us. the Divine. The Divine is love and what I need to remember is that my parents love me. So as I sit down and ask myself what I love to do. It is the simple and most complex answer: create. I love to create: to write, to breathe in new ways I've never breathed before, to create a beautiful painting of bodyart on the canvas I call my yoga mat. To create the words that flow from my brain onto the page that is labeled poetry, to let my fingers fall into the places that strum the most beautiful chords that create this thing that we call music.
I'm going to give you five reasons why I believe we all need to get out of this people-pleasing trap and follow our own paths: 1. It causes us to miss the divine's purpose for our life. If you are always trying to meet in fulfill the expectation of your parents, husband, friends, then you will miss the Divine Purpose for your life!
2. It keeps you from growing in faith When the Divine inside of us is big in our lives then people don't influence us as much, but when people are big then we give to people what the Divine inside of us deserves. Whose opinion matters to you more God’s or other people?
3. It causes hypocrisy We start to wear masks, we try to figure out which mask to wear depending on who we are around and where we are. We love to make ourselves look better than we really are.
4. Integrity is more important than popularity The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles is better than constantly being divided by the popularity of humans in your life
5. I don't need anyone's approval to be happy. Happiness is a choice, you are as happy as you choose to be. If you choose to let other people manipulate your happiness then you won't be happy. The moment you become a leader, half the people aren't going to like you. You spend so much of your life to try to gain the approval of an un-pleasable person.
Just be happy.